The wedding is next week. I'm trying hard to see it as gaining a friend instead of losing one but things just aren't the same.
When did we grow up? I want it to stop.
Sort of. I guess it has some perks but it is definitely more complicated. I like complicated but I will admit I miss some childhood adventures.
No one plays in the mud anymore.
I tried once. Maybe a year ago. But making a mud pie for yourself when your 18 doesn't obtain the magic of before.
I miss him already. He's only been gone a day and it's not like he won't come back. Maybe i'm afraid while he's gone he'll have time to think and realize how crazy it is to be with me. It's not like i'm easy to deal with. In fact I can be a psychotic and total bitch. I don't think he's seen that yet. Here's hoping he can handle me.
Maybe if I knew what I wanted. I never know. I can't decide. Desicions are so definite, and definite is forever and that is a whole mess of repitition.
But right now i'm pretty sure I just want him. Cause it's been awhile and i'm not running away and i'm still happy despite everything. Things aren't perfect and i'm ok. The complications are nothing compared to this new feeling i've just started to know.
"I'm making plans not to make plans while I'm here And this life has been no holiday, a complicated situation I'm fine with all my memories "
"And time, time it stops for no one The seasons come and go and that's just time Yeah time it stops for no one The seasons keep on going Whether or not we're blind And time, time it stops for no one The seasons come and go and that's just time Yeah time it stops for no one The seasons keep on going Whether or not we're blind" -Jack's Mannequin
Is summer really over?
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