Lost in my Head

“So I fall.
I don't wanna feel this small.
You know I just can't handle this,
handle
this at all.
And so I

f
a
l
l

I let my heartbeat drop.
I falter as the music stops.

And you watch me as I stall,

And wonder when I fall...”

-Something Corporate

I'm not used to someone else, an outsider, a well known stranger, having this much control of my emotions.

I hate feeling and I hate admitting he has such a domineering affect.

And yet i'm addicted to it. And I don't want to remember what life was like before it. And i'm not willing to let it go.

And yet I adverse it.

I'm confused.

and i'm not sure I ever want to be burdened with clarity again.