New Years Eve, the start of 2008 was a blur of strangers I called friends, new beginnings and the grossest mix of hard liqours I had ever encountered. Many may argue it was a great start. I'd be more inclined to agree if I could remember half of it. Although the half I do remember wasn't actually to bad. Life always seems to surprise me, but this year has topped everything. My expectations have been destroyed with unexpected twists, irony, and bruises.
After New Years was the common flurry of parties, most of which I can't remember almost all at Chris's or Mike's. None of these are really significant as i'm now only really on talking terms with maybe three of them. Some of us grew up, some got lives, the rest are stuck in that endless swirl of totally forgettable nights. January brought snow, which brought a need to feel alive. Favorite memory of January: swimming the the ocean during a snow storm, then clinging to a whiskey bottle to help bring the feeling back. The "need to feel alive" was more like temporary insanity. My nature can be to compulsive. I like to act first and think later.
Sometimes we put our memories on a pedestal and make them appear to be more then they are. I returned to Dummer Academy with some friends to see if I could recreate some old feelings. The school was there, the trip was fun. But things have changed, and you can't go back. Although, there will never be anything like sneaking out of your dorm room to go fall asleep with friends on the grass near the river. The food was the same.
Getting pulled over in New Hampshire with open bottles of Sparks. Luckily it looks like an energy drink. Who even knew we were in NH?
That distant friendship becoming something more. So unexpected, so craved, so denied.
so something in progress.
So growing.
Ladore, getting lost in New York. twice. All that time alone in a car. How small talk became meaningful. How dangerous events strengthened an invisible bond we were unaware exsisted.
The hotel parties, Boston, Steam burns from the sidewalk cracks. Hard Rock Hotel. Another attempt to bring out the past. But time affects old friendships, creates an awkwardness where once, it never had a chance to exist.
An Engagement that forces me to question where i've been this last year.
Watching Jeff go. The letters, the fear of war. The fear of death. His fear of unrequited love. My fear of losing a friendship over my nonexistant feelings. The struggle of this friendship, that even now isn't back to normal.
Favorite thing to do this year: Wake up slowly in his arms. Not rushing about. For the first time in awhile i'm ok with just relaxing.
Late night fires, Corona, long drives. Racing around on the back of the Ducati, stopping at the river. Freshly made peach pie. Pretending i'm not growing up.
The beach. With the nearby bars, the strangers willing to be friends for a day. Swimming at night with those newly attained friends. The common fear of whales. Soulmates who will never speak again. Dancing to Sublime on the sand cooled by the waning night. Putting aside realty for fascination.
Jersey. The best place for the summer. Beaches, boardwalks, Crazy fisherman, football, lost tops. Then night with 21st birthdays, karoake bars, driving through the night to fall asleep on a far away beach and head out to breakfast around 1. Broken wine glasses, frisbees, Racing the insane 18 wheeler, the dreaded long drive home.
Fake British accents. Tested friendships. Drinking in the streets. Long rides on the Harley, skull bandana's and skirts. A fire for every night we couldn't sleep. Tanlines and Bloody Mary's. Chain smoking, then
quitting.
Grilling steaks every afternoon. Floating in the pool. Playing volleyball. Ending up just wrestling in the sand. Weekends alone. Fishing at the bridge.
Then snow.
Tokyo drifts, late night sledding, hot chocolate, fourwheeling.
This year has been great. It's given me something I never knew I could have. And it's given me more memories I can live off of later. Cheers to all the moments and people. It's been great.
