“Who are you really, wanderer?”— and the answer you have to give, no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: “Maybe I’m a king.”
- William Stafford

All I ever have to offer is my many flaws and quirks, and if you can get past them, accept them, then you've reached me.

I've never fed into all that fairytale bullshit society throws down our throats as young girls. Happily ever afters seem so unrealistic, even when I was young it was just soemthing I couldn't buy into. How sweet of society to give ladies such unreachable goals to aspire for.

but maybe even though I never believed, I still wished.

I always look to deeply into things. I know it can be the most irritating thing to have me read to much into nothing but I just can't help it.

Sorry.

"I looked into your eyes and saw all that does not exist"

Randomly remembered my old password for an email address. Decided to check it out and discovered all those unfullfilled promises I fell for. Definitely niave, definitely unregrettable despite the heartache.

"No one likes a liar baby"

How couldn't I fall for those sweet lines, with hidden meanings and mutual understandings I can barley explain to myself.

"Can you recall what we once knew? Somewhere without the pain. I can hear your voice, but you know I feel your soul. Where have you gone my love? My friend? Somewhere without any pain? I'm not afraid now, i'm not alone. We will meet again."

Oh tainted and empty promises.

"When I am with you there's no reason to pretend. When I am with you I feel flames again"

"You are the only thing, that makes me want to live at all."

I think this is when I wanted to believe in Cinderella the most. This was the part when I was longing for life to prove me wrong. This was the part I was let down the most.

He will always be my biggest let down, my worst mistake, my favorite chapter, a bittersweet memory I can't let go.

But as books go, chapters pass and new ones are written, and i'm writing away potential mistakes, incredible memories, less then perfect people, and a whole new world he will never get to know.

He hasn't been replaced. He's been put aside like an old toy for something that works better, has new appeal, and a longer warrenty.

Happily ever after? Nope.

Happily problematic, complicated, sweet, unforgettable, messy ever after?

Definitely.