"Stop and think about what you are about to do"

Terrible advice. Every single time I stop and consider what i'm about to do I talk myself out of it. And I REGRET it later.

I've never really done anything crazy, obnoxious, or ridiculous and regretted it.

If you never take the chance and do what you want you never get to know the experience. And you're not living.

I want to live. I don't want to be molded by rules and expectations. Don't expect anything from me. This way you'll appreciate the little things. This way I can't let you down. This way i'm free to me.

everything fades.

Stars

The dance in a step

The sparks between people

everything fades.

You can't avoid it.

So it's not a question of whether or not it fades.

Because it will.

What matters is how brightly it burned at it's peak.

That's what defines us.

You can measure you're success by the brightness of your climax.

holding in.

never speaking your mind.

fearing chances and risk.

These are dimming qualities.

Defy them.

Burn bright.

A little love from William Stafford...

"The more you let yourself be distracted from where you are going, the more you are the person that you are. It's not so much like getting lost as it is like getting found.”

“. . . You were aimed from birth:you will never be alone. Rainwill come, a gutter filled, an Amazon,long aisles -- you never heard so deep a sound,moss on rock, and years. You turn your head --that's what the silence meant: you're not alone. The whole wide world pours down.”

“I keep following this sort of hidden river of my life, you know, whatever the topic or impulse which comes, I follow it along trustingly. And I don't have any sense of its coming to a kind of crescendo, or of its petering out either. It is just going steadily along.”

"So, the world happens twice, once what we see it as; second it legends itself deep, the way it is.”

“I have woven a parachute out of everything broken.”

"“Next time what I'd do is look atthe earth before saying anything. I'd stop just before going into a house and be an emperor for a minute and listen better to the wind or to the air being still.”

“When I dream at night, they save a place for me,no matter how small, somewhere by the fire.”

"when little oppressions touch mearrows hidden in my cloakwhisper, "Ready, ready."”

“The world speaks everything to us.It is our only friend.”

They say you never forget your first love. They may have something right. Stafford still claims some of my memories.

I can't force you to spend time with me. Or act like you care the way you smoothly say you do. But let me just say this. For every second you're not with me i'm off being me. I'm not dwelling on you. I'm not sitting around waiting for your call. I've never been that girl and I will never give anyone the satisfaction of making me that way. I'm watching myself sink slowly back into that chaotic lifestyle i've kind of missed. Maybe there's a balance that can exist. But right now it's off and i'm not taking blame for it. You can have some control over my time. But if you don't take it, it's hardly my fault.

idiot.

Why I love "Almost Famous"

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."

Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends. 

 Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music. 

I've studied the entire history of music. And for the most part, the good stuff is the popular stuff. Show me a guy who says he doesn't want to be popular and I'll show you a scared guy. It's easy to say popularity sucks because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?

“Who are you really, wanderer?”— and the answer you have to give, no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: “Maybe I’m a king.”
- William Stafford

All I ever have to offer is my many flaws and quirks, and if you can get past them, accept them, then you've reached me.

I've never fed into all that fairytale bullshit society throws down our throats as young girls. Happily ever afters seem so unrealistic, even when I was young it was just soemthing I couldn't buy into. How sweet of society to give ladies such unreachable goals to aspire for.

but maybe even though I never believed, I still wished.

I always look to deeply into things. I know it can be the most irritating thing to have me read to much into nothing but I just can't help it.

Sorry.

"I looked into your eyes and saw all that does not exist"

Randomly remembered my old password for an email address. Decided to check it out and discovered all those unfullfilled promises I fell for. Definitely niave, definitely unregrettable despite the heartache.

"No one likes a liar baby"

How couldn't I fall for those sweet lines, with hidden meanings and mutual understandings I can barley explain to myself.

"Can you recall what we once knew? Somewhere without the pain. I can hear your voice, but you know I feel your soul. Where have you gone my love? My friend? Somewhere without any pain? I'm not afraid now, i'm not alone. We will meet again."

Oh tainted and empty promises.

"When I am with you there's no reason to pretend. When I am with you I feel flames again"

"You are the only thing, that makes me want to live at all."

I think this is when I wanted to believe in Cinderella the most. This was the part when I was longing for life to prove me wrong. This was the part I was let down the most.

He will always be my biggest let down, my worst mistake, my favorite chapter, a bittersweet memory I can't let go.

But as books go, chapters pass and new ones are written, and i'm writing away potential mistakes, incredible memories, less then perfect people, and a whole new world he will never get to know.

He hasn't been replaced. He's been put aside like an old toy for something that works better, has new appeal, and a longer warrenty.

Happily ever after? Nope.

Happily problematic, complicated, sweet, unforgettable, messy ever after?

Definitely.

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

I used to be young and free Worried about my legacy Now I'm aged and alone I'm getting old and growing up, Is not what it's cracked up to be We're just names in stone

The Cab

Everybody lies.

House

It's your life Don't you let em tell you when to bat your eyes You're the only one who's gonna sacrifice Makes no difference if you're right or wrong Take that ride

Kings of Leon

Ladore was more than I could have asked for.